Annie Oxenfeld contributed to this post.
Tom is overjoyed.
He recently was promoted to the managerial level at the 30-person tech start-up he has worked at since it launched a few years ago. He has seen the company grow from a few original founders and employees to a thriving business gaining momentum all the while.
That is, until he meets his new-hire, Frank.
Frank comes to work on time and does quality work…but that is close to all he does. He doesn’t come to the weekly all-company happy hour, he doesn’t come to the summer barbecues, and he doesn’t express the same passion and love for the company that Tom and many other employees share. It doesn’t help that he also has a few habits that happen to be top pet peeves of his team members.
What’s a manager like Tom to do? He isn’t exactly sure himself. How do you write someone up for not being enthusiastic and social enough? Or for what amounts to a personality quirk that doesn’t gel with the rest of the team, something that isn’t exactly spelled out in a job description? How do you approach that kind of conversation at all without it being terribly awkward, or just plain mean?
So what happens?
We see a lot of managers like Tom in our work. The situation often goes one of a few ways: Maybe Frank gets shuffled between departments with the hope that he’ll be a better fit elsewhere. Maybe Frank stays for years, a problem no one wants to confront, and other employees choose to leave the company out of frustration. Maybe a relatively small instance is the final straw, and the company wants to terminate him despite the fact that the final event isn’t in itself a terminable offense.
As these actions and conversations held about him occur behind closed doors, there exists an extremely likely possibility that Frank doesn’t realize that he is doing anything that could be perceived as problematic. He’s been moved around and continually re-trained, surely a sign that he is worth investing in. And there’s been no mention of any serious issues in his performance reviews. From his viewpoint everything appears to be fine.
When an employee is taken by surprise by a termination and has doubts about the stated reason for the termination, it often can lead them to speculate and draw their own conclusions. Having no sense of a progression of disciplinary action, Frank may start to wonder whether he’s being let go due to his age, ethnicity, religion, or another protected class, which can create a greater chance of retaliation and/or the risk of a lawsuit.
Policies: Do I have to have one?
Managers like Tom don’t reach out for HR support around the problem soon enough. Documentation can eliminate confusion and provide a clear record of what steps were taken and what was actually said versus how it’s remembered.
Smaller companies in particular tend to be invested in fostering a family-like culture and don’t like the idea of documentation or formal processes for this type of issue. Additionally, regardless of company size, an organization may prefer to go without a formal process because it makes more sense for their company culture. However, if a person is not responding to an informal approach, then other approaches need to be explored to ensure they are hearing the feedback.
Sometimes it doesn’t feel “good” to manage by policy, especially when it comes to interpersonal issues. It’s natural to care about the people you work with, and there is a compassionate way to go about these processes that protects the employee, but thinking of the business and how to protect it, and all the other employees, is necessary.
How do I make sure I don’t get to a point where I make a rash decision?
The process may ultimately still end in a termination, but you’ll be able to better protect the decision if you follow these tips:
- Loop HR in early for feedback and support around challenges even when they are interpersonal and communications-based. Your HR department is your sounding board. Ask, “Am I off base here? This is what I’m thinking…” or “Is this serious or is it not serious?” or “How can I address this effectively?”
- Develop standard practices so you’re not recreating the wheel every time you have to manage this kind of issue.
- Slow down the process of getting to the point of a termination. Build up your documentation and also be sure to give the individual the benefit of the doubt. They may not understand the seriousness of the problem—give them the opportunity to fix it.
- Practice constant awareness. Check in with yourself about where your emotional reactions are coming from.
Allowing your culture to grow and change
Having built an organization from the ground up, employers and owners are personally invested and may have a vision for the kind of culture they want their company to always have. It’s also likely that the original core group of employees was more motivated by the culture and their passion for the owner’s vision than a paycheck. As an organization grows and new people are brought in, though, the original culture will start to dilute in some ways. Some newer employees may simply see the job as just a job, with no personal or emotional lens.
It’s only natural for owners to want everyone to be as dedicated as they are, and it’s understandable that some may take it personally if people don’t express their same level of passion. However, you can’t force someone to love your company as much as you do.
There are several things you can and should do, though:
- Foster your culture. Embed it into your hiring, onboarding, performance reviews, communication, marketing, and day to day activities and processes.
- Know that the culture of a company develops organically and cannot be forced.
- If people aren’t invested in the culture, accept it, and consider inviting those folks to the table to have a say in reshaping and reimagining your culture.
- Don’t insert culture initiatives if they don’t belong. Each company and set of employees is unique and has their own set of interests and needs.
So, do I have to be emotionless in the workplace?
When can I allow my emotions and intuition to enter a business decision?
Emotions can absolutely have a place in business decisions. We all would want to be given every chance to accomplish something we care about, and extending that generosity to a struggling employee can do wonders. Allowing compassion and generosity into that decision-making process can create better morale, retention, and overall culture within a company.
The keys to walking this careful line, however, are consistency, mindfulness, and caution. Everyone must be treated equally, and it’s important to know when your generosity is going too far. Giving an employee every possible chance to recover, with no observable improvement, can negatively impact other workers.